Stone River Dream — A Poem

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“Puzzle Work” — C.Birde, 8/18

 

One-hundred-

six steps

along the

gray stone

sand-strewn

river

of dream

where half-light

swims

pools

shimmers

over slate’s

puzzle work

& words school

like surfacing

fish.

 

— C.Birde, 8/18

 

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“Water” — C.Birde, 8/18

 

Un-Solicitous — A Dream

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“Slate” — C.Birde, 8/18

 

Underfoot, the hall’s floor is a puzzle work of slate – gray-blue, charcoal, sand-flecked. To the left, a rough plaster wall rises; opposite, a series of ornate, heavily carved and curved wood frames define bevel-glass windows and doors. At the hall’s far end, a single, narrow, French door emits dusty bands of light.

Walk the hall’s length, pale cat in tow – calm, despite its slack leash; small, excited dog free to leap and prance at heel. Count each stride. Turn. Double back. Half-light swims and glitters; reflects off glass; pools upon polished wood and slate.

The words surface, unbidden:

 

One-hundred-

six steps

along

the gray stone,

sand-strewn

river…

 

Complete the lap — down the hall and back. Turn into the open doorway, incised in the plaster wall. Enter a large dining room. Its ceiling soars overhead; its furnishings baroque in detail. A long trestle table, lavishly set, bisects the room’s middle. And there, at the end nearest, with one leg flung over the arm of a carved wooden chair, a man lounges in neat, formal attire. See, also, the spiral-bound writing pad. Understand that the words — as they formed mere moments ago — have found their way onto those pages. He has read them. Scoffed at them. Advises, now, in arrogant tone: “Stick to ‘womanly pursuits’ ”.

Remember. Him. Earlier this day when, parked downtown, he had leapt – uninvited – into the back seat of the bright and gleaming orange convertible. A black-suit-clad intruder sprawled against white leather seats. There, then, he had critiqued – with undisguised scorn – a young man’s physics dissertation. Each word a poison dart. Remember how the young man had sagged, diminished.

Here, now. Stand. Rooted to slate. Head bent, chin to chest, like a whipped child in this grand, antique and dated room. Before this viper-tongued braggart. Feel the roar inside growing.

Doubt — A Poem

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“Doubt” — C.Birde, 8/18

(For Lena.)

 

Thirst or

hunger?

Confusion, pain, or

exhaustion?

The differences are

arguable;

secret, subtle;

mysterious.

Tell me the way.

My ear —

seeking answers,

guidance —

bends toward

silence.

 

— C.Birde, 8/18

 

Laden — An Image

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“Laden” — C.Birde, 8/18

 

The weight

of fevered air

bears

down —

each furred breath

of moisture

an

oppression.

 

— C.Birde, 8/18

 

Vacansopapurosophobia — A Poem

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“Blank Pages” — C.Birde, 8/1

 

What if

the words won’t

come

the spark won’t

catch

the page remains

a complex

blank

of possibility —

unshaped,

unformed,

unsculpted.

What if the muse,

accepting of all

blame,

remains

on the periphery,

out of reach?

Beyond the barrier,

Gray Catbird sings

improvisation…

My hand,

cramps.

What if

What if

What

i

f

?

 

— C.Birde, 8/18

 

Iterations — A Dream

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“Iterations” — C.Birde, 7/18

 

He stands just behind my right shoulder – a young man, so comfortable in his own skin, his presence adds inches to his height. And, in six-year-old guise, he clutches my left hand as tightly as his young strength allows. The nine-month-old him sprawls, arms and legs akimbo, in complete abandon on the bed’s rumpled sheets; while he-at-twelve sits on the edge of the same bed with arms defiantly crossed about his narrow torso – purposefully, he avoids my eye, assures himself that I know this. Finally, there, in a knot of sheet spilled upon the floor, is his smallest and youngest form – a red faced, yowling and inconsolable, thumb-sized infant whose continuous, shrill shriek drives all ability to think from my skull.

 

— C.Birde, 7/18

 

Awake — A Poem

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“Awake” — C.Birde, 7/18

 

Patient night —

with winking, starless

eye and

half-moon smile —

She conducts

the crickets’ song,

distorted by the hum

from window fan,

by ceiling fan’s

arrhythmic tick…

And,

beneath it all,

the thought-loop whirs,

that well-oiled

Mobius strip of

shoulds &

woulds &

musts &

haven’ts.

Loop and whir.

Repeat.

Night’s darkness thins,

rinsed pale and

watered

by dawn’s soft steps.

Tomorrow —

surely —

sleep will

come.

 

— C.Birde, 7/18

 

Cats & Rabbits, Kittens & Kits — A Dream

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“”Kits & Kittens” — C.Birde, 7/18

 

 

As I descend the cellar steps

and pause but halfway down

to peek below…

a warm light flows

from windows

recessed high up

in smoothed cement walls

that peer out over

grass-green lawn.

This basement space –

large and open as it is,

its floor a level plane

of low-pile carpet –

lacks most namesake objects.

No furnace here,

nor workbench,

hot-water heater, or

storage shelves.

It is not, however,

empty.

A score of cardboard boxes

the area defines,

pushed against the walls,

and at its center cluster.

And each box —

by cat with kittens,

or a rabbit and her kits —

is occupied.

Each mother tends her litter –

grooming,

nursing,

nurturing –

in unworried fashion.

Paused upon the stairs,

I hear the unbroken,

contented

purr.

Back up those stairs

I creep so

I do not

disturb.

 

— C.Birde, 7/18