
One-hundred-
six steps
along the
gray stone
sand-strewn
river
of dream
where half-light
swims
pools
shimmers
over slate’s
puzzle work
& words school
like surfacing
fish.
— C.Birde, 8/18


One-hundred-
six steps
along the
gray stone
sand-strewn
river
of dream
where half-light
swims
pools
shimmers
over slate’s
puzzle work
& words school
like surfacing
fish.
— C.Birde, 8/18


Underfoot, the hall’s floor is a puzzle work of slate – gray-blue, charcoal, sand-flecked. To the left, a rough plaster wall rises; opposite, a series of ornate, heavily carved and curved wood frames define bevel-glass windows and doors. At the hall’s far end, a single, narrow, French door emits dusty bands of light.
Walk the hall’s length, pale cat in tow – calm, despite its slack leash; small, excited dog free to leap and prance at heel. Count each stride. Turn. Double back. Half-light swims and glitters; reflects off glass; pools upon polished wood and slate.
The words surface, unbidden:
One-hundred-
six steps
along
the gray stone,
sand-strewn
river…
Complete the lap — down the hall and back. Turn into the open doorway, incised in the plaster wall. Enter a large dining room. Its ceiling soars overhead; its furnishings baroque in detail. A long trestle table, lavishly set, bisects the room’s middle. And there, at the end nearest, with one leg flung over the arm of a carved wooden chair, a man lounges in neat, formal attire. See, also, the spiral-bound writing pad. Understand that the words — as they formed mere moments ago — have found their way onto those pages. He has read them. Scoffed at them. Advises, now, in arrogant tone: “Stick to ‘womanly pursuits’ ”.
Remember. Him. Earlier this day when, parked downtown, he had leapt – uninvited – into the back seat of the bright and gleaming orange convertible. A black-suit-clad intruder sprawled against white leather seats. There, then, he had critiqued – with undisguised scorn – a young man’s physics dissertation. Each word a poison dart. Remember how the young man had sagged, diminished.
Here, now. Stand. Rooted to slate. Head bent, chin to chest, like a whipped child in this grand, antique and dated room. Before this viper-tongued braggart. Feel the roar inside growing.

Tomato
d r e a m s
of
dragons.
— C.Birde, 8/18

(For Lena.)
Thirst or
hunger?
Confusion, pain, or
exhaustion?
The differences are
arguable;
secret, subtle;
mysterious.
Tell me the way.
My ear —
seeking answers,
guidance —
bends toward
silence.
— C.Birde, 8/18

The weight
of fevered air
bears
down —
each furred breath
of moisture
an
oppression.
— C.Birde, 8/18

What if
the words won’t
come
the spark won’t
catch
the page remains
a complex
blank
of possibility —
unshaped,
unformed,
unsculpted.
What if the muse,
accepting of all
blame,
remains
on the periphery,
out of reach?
Beyond the barrier,
Gray Catbird sings
improvisation…
My hand,
cramps.
What if
What if
What
i
f
?
— C.Birde, 8/18

He stands just behind my right shoulder – a young man, so comfortable in his own skin, his presence adds inches to his height. And, in six-year-old guise, he clutches my left hand as tightly as his young strength allows. The nine-month-old him sprawls, arms and legs akimbo, in complete abandon on the bed’s rumpled sheets; while he-at-twelve sits on the edge of the same bed with arms defiantly crossed about his narrow torso – purposefully, he avoids my eye, assures himself that I know this. Finally, there, in a knot of sheet spilled upon the floor, is his smallest and youngest form – a red faced, yowling and inconsolable, thumb-sized infant whose continuous, shrill shriek drives all ability to think from my skull.
— C.Birde, 7/18

Hands clasped,
she peers past
slender fingers
with the largest,
warmest,
brownest
eye.
— C.Birde, 7/18

Patient night —
with winking, starless
eye and
half-moon smile —
She conducts
the crickets’ song,
distorted by the hum
from window fan,
by ceiling fan’s
arrhythmic tick…
And,
beneath it all,
the thought-loop whirs,
that well-oiled
Mobius strip of
shoulds &
woulds &
musts &
haven’ts.
Loop and whir.
Repeat.
Night’s darkness thins,
rinsed pale and
watered
by dawn’s soft steps.
Tomorrow —
surely —
sleep will
come.
— C.Birde, 7/18

As I descend the cellar steps
and pause but halfway down
to peek below…
a warm light flows
from windows
recessed high up
in smoothed cement walls
that peer out over
grass-green lawn.
This basement space –
large and open as it is,
its floor a level plane
of low-pile carpet –
lacks most namesake objects.
No furnace here,
nor workbench,
hot-water heater, or
storage shelves.
It is not, however,
empty.
A score of cardboard boxes
the area defines,
pushed against the walls,
and at its center cluster.
And each box —
by cat with kittens,
or a rabbit and her kits —
is occupied.
Each mother tends her litter –
grooming,
nursing,
nurturing –
in unworried fashion.
Paused upon the stairs,
I hear the unbroken,
contented
purr.
Back up those stairs
I creep so
I do not
disturb.
— C.Birde, 7/18